The Retreat

So, some of you may have looked for something from me after our retreat this past weekend...if so, I have sorely disappointed you. I am sorry if that is true for you.

One of the hurdles for me to overcome is my own institutional church learned behaviors. And the first of those is that as a leader, I act. I speak, I talk, I coach up. So this week, instead, Jonathan and I went to the monastery up at St. Meinrad (Indiana). And I refused to allow myself to make blog posts or in general work on house church stuff all week. Because that 'action' is my teddy bear. I want people to be happy, and feel fulfilled, and have a sense of purpose. So I challenged myself this week instead to read, pray and listen for God's voice.

I believe that God uses our strengths, but I also believe that God can use our areas of weakness. I had a polaroid camera when I was a kid. And even in the 1970's, I would stand there holding that photo, and practically shake it, willing it to turn out faster so I could see the finished product. Most of my faith life and church work has been the same way, with mixed results. Sometimes that drive has been a wonderful thing, and spurred myself and others on to greater things for God. Sometimes, however, it has caused me to be unwilling to listen and wait for God's timing. To rush ahead when it wasn't prudent, and spoil what God was trying to birth through me.

For the first time in my life, I think, I am truly listening and open to God. The past 18 months have brought many, many lessons home to me. But the greatest lesson has been a greater understanding of the kairos time, God's time, which is ALWAYS perfect.

In reality, I needed to get fired so God could do some things. It was hard, it was painful, and it was RIGHT. Some of those things God needed to do were within me, and some were within those around me. Our first retreat this past January was the first time that I thought, hmm...this house church is going to make it. And right then, I turned to my teddy bear of leadership and action. Almost immediately I sensed I had made the wrong move (again). Things started to go wrong in everyone's life, and I reluctantly switched on my listening ears again.

Things improved and we had a wonderful retreat this past weekend. I was so thankful to be with you, and to watch you share with one another and with God, and to hear all of the ideas that were rattling around inside your heads.

I think the polaroid is taking shape. The picture is forming, and I encourage you, as we build on this retreat over the next few weeks, to do everything you can to be a part of our weekly gatherings. Your input is vital, and I truly believe we are missing something when you aren't present! I love you all and missed you this week!